At dinner last night, my wife and I talked about the big things we wanted to accomplish for 2015. I was more curious in her aspirations, so I did most of the asking. There was a lot of silence, and then some head scratching. After about 10 minutes, she said something: “I want to be a more present and a loving wife for our family.”
My heart melted. Then I immediately thought well, that’s not big. But her response brought a warm smile to her face and an energy shift to the table. It was comforting to know she was happy and excited for this goal. So I left her response alone, and explored further in what that would look like for her.
My wife didn’t care to have any big change for 2015. Her business was steadily moving along. Our relationship and family was growing at its right pace. The things she wants–to own her home and to travel–are in motion. What’s more, going big has always stressed her out–so why bother!
Almost everyone pushes for big change at the new year, and you may be someone who wants big change. But how often in your life have you intended and received big change? Is figuring out the change you want and pushing for it stressful?
I bet when you look back in your life, the change you desired didn’t happen in a big way; it happened in small incremental steps that is mostly unnoticeable until the year end when you look back and wondered what you have accomplished.
A lot people fail in hitting their goals and making change because they go big. Statistics back this up saying only 8% of people achieve their new years resolution. Can you guess what the secret is to making the change you want? It’s making the small efforts day in and day out that lead to big change and breakthroughs.
I find this true for almost any kind of change. For example, my face didn’t go from baby-face-smooth to birds-nest-beard over night. My beard grew in, little by little (but super fast), over a few weeks. A child is born, and then it takes years to come into themselves and grow into an adult. Overnight success is a lie, too. Successful businesses take years and years to grow, mature, and be successful.
Behind any big and lasting change you’ll find this one truth: it is the small efforts done day in and day out that created the change.
Go for the small efforts.
My wife’s aspiration to be a more present and a loving wife for our family is a small effort she intends doing day in and day out. Now it is conscious for her, and there’s no doubt in my mind she will succeed. She was actually doing her aspiration during our dinner conversation last night by giving her complete attention to me. I’m excited to see how this will manifest for us over the coming months. I know it will create big change for our intimacy and for her peace and relaxation.
It’s the Small Things
What about you? What small efforts can you do day in and day out that will create the change you desire?
Here’s a good starting place:
- Think of an area of life you want to change. For example, you want to go full time in your business and leave the 9-5 or part-time life behind forever. The area of life you want growth and change in is my business.
- Inventory yourself on how rested you feel. Are you getting enough sleep and R&R? Most of us try to make changes when we feel hopeless and depleted. This make sense, however, because when you suffer, you want to change the suffering into success–almost immediately. But you cannot change anything in that hopeless and depleted state. You don’t have the energy or clarity to put the right foot forward. Get plenty of sleep and plenty of rest.
What small thing can you do day in and day out to create the change you want? Signing up new clients is NOT a small thing. Earning $3,000 per month is NOT a small thing. Creating a marketing plan is NOT a small thing. Overhauling your website is NOT a small thing.
Remember–it’s a small thing that you can do day in and day out. Taking a 20 minute nap every day is a small thing. Meditating for 30 minutes a day is a small thing. Picking up the phone and calling someone in your network is a small thing. Posting three times a day on Facebook is a small thing. Cleaning and clearing your office space at the last 30 minutes of your day is a small thing.
Do not worry about if the small thing you are doing is effective. It is. First, it will take some time to connect the dots and see the small thing having an effect. Second, your business doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Any and everything you do has an effect on your business. Whether it is exercise, food, sleep, social, love, and spiritual connection, it all plays a part in growing and maturing your business.
I ask again: What small thing can you do day in and day out to create the change you want?
So there you have it. This short article is the recipe to make any change you desire in your life. Forget about going big and go small. Do the small efforts day in and day out and you’ll create the success and change you want. The steps are simple: define the area of life you want to change, get plenty of rest and sleep, and define one small thing you can do every day.
Leave a comment below or send me an email with the area of life you want to change and the small thing you can do every day that will lead to your success. Happy new year!